Are You Using 'Accountability' Accurately?

In my coaching certification program it was made more clear to me, this thing called accountability.

You see in my practice, one of the first things to establish in a new coaching relationship is the creation of a safe space to work through challenges. And because vulnerability is required for transformation, part of creating that safety is to establish a safe system of accountability. Not to just say we’ll be accountable for each other’s actions, but to create a system and process so that accountability is used accurately and for the powerful function it has in healthy relationships. 

What do I mean? Well, let me ask you, what is accountability?

Simply put, it’s one’s ability to take into account what just happened/what they did/the harm they just caused. And that’s it! 

So, when you hear accountability being demanded in response to the hurts and harms done onto ourselves and our communities do you think it’s being used accurately? I personally think that a majority of the time it’s NOT. Typically when I hear the request or demand of accountability, my deep listening tells me that what is really wanted is that the person who caused the harm needs to face the consequences or be held responsible, as in go to jail, or lose their job, etc... 

It’s fair to say that we become emotionally charged by these harms, BUT facing consequences or being held responsible is not the same thing as being held accountable. Again, being held accountable is being able to recall what you did. And only this.

And until we get better at saying what we mean and meaning what we say, we’re probably not addressing our issues with each other head on or solving problems efficiently. So, let me add some more pieces to this puzzle...

Accountability is only one piece of establishing a healthy relationship. The other pieces that are often overlooked are

• the process of recovery once a hurt or harm is done

• the process of repair of the relationship after a hurt or harm

*sidenote: replace hurt or harm with “broken agreement” and you can apply this system to your workplace, or any social institutions

Our healing can start with accountability, but it doesn’t end there. Restorative justice requires that RECOVERY and REPAIR become the steps included into a normalized process of healing and transforming the way we relate to each other.

So I challenge you to (1) think about whether you want accountability or really just want someone to face their consequences and (2) figure out if it’s accountability you know is needed, then ask the leading, critical questions:

1. What actually happens after accountability is established? 

2. Is there a system in place that takes into account the recovery process for everyone post harm?

3. Are there agreements in place about how the relationships will be repaired?

Chances are if the critical pieces of recovery and repair aren’t coupled with accountability, then you have a broken or dysfunctional system upholding (or not) that relationship. 

Requesting accountability without knowing how the entire system of recovery and repair are involved in that process is like setting off an avalanche of more harm and destruction.

We just end up with more to clean up!

How are you setting up your SYSTEM OF ACCOUNTABILITY for yourself?

How are you setting up your SYSTEM OF ACCOUNTABILITY for your community/work place/organization?

Share in the comments below. I’m curious to know how you can apply this!

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The 4 Essentials to Pack for Our Journey

I call this work a journey, because that’s what it really is. There are no hard stops or starts with me, there are cycles. As you are actively living your cycle of life, I am as well. The moment we cross paths is when we explore where each of us are on our paths. As your coach I make sure to pack these essential items I know we’ll need as we move forward. We actively co-create how these function for us as a strong foundation and as tools to cultivate and nurture our unique relationship. 

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If you are ready to step into this deeply transformational journey with me, schedule a quick 15 minute consultation to discover if my supporting you in nature is right for you! 

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SAFETY
Safety is synonymous to sacred space. Your body is sacred, your identity is sacred, the places we visit in nature are sacred. And so is the space between the two of us as we grow and develop on this journey.
On group hikes I've created sacred space by calling in the four directions and the elements they hold as a way of grounding us into the physical surroundings. I've witnessed plenty of hikes when we're walking in the middle of tourist traps and as soon as the group needs to gather and talk, because we've created sacred space through ritual, people begin to disperse and give us space!
In the coaching practice the initial steps of creating safety is called, creating a conscious relationship. From stating our preferred pronouns to designing ways in which we'll check in with each other when times get challenging, these are all ways that we create safety and ensure a process where we both are seen and heard. 

ACCOUNTABILITY
Accountability is one of the key things that is sought after in coaching. After all,

"A goal without a plan is just a wish" -Anthony de Saint-Exupery

And setting goals can be a straightforward process, but making a plan to meet those goals....well that's where you can end up with a bunch of wish lists! As a coach, I'm with you on this path to keep looking upwards and onwards with an actionable plan to meet your goals. I'm a dynamic coach, so whether I'm behind, along side, or in front of you, I bring with me accountability in the form of empowering and challenging you to meet your goals with the best of your resources. The process of being held accountable is also something we can co-create because achievability of your goals also depends on me meeting you where you are while challenging the best parts of you. This brings us to the next item I take with me...

Just like the spokes of a bike, balance and alignment creates a smooth ride and cyclical rhythm. Imagine where you can go with your wheel of life! 

ALIGNMENT
These, "best parts of you", are some of those many parts that make you a whole person. Sometimes we don't even know all the parts of us and that can create some roadblocks to meeting our full potential. Awareness of these parts can support an understanding of how they serve us, or not. Working towards aligning those parts to your core values creates a more "balanced wheel of life" ready to ride whatever type of terrain comes its way!
You can read more about this process of alignment and balance from the April blog post, Inner Balance & Alignment  And I assure you, this process of alignment is fairly critical in opening up the pathways to your true self. It allows you to be acknowledged in all your parts. This brings us to our last essential item to pack...

RECONNECTION
It feels like FREEDOM when you're aligned with your core values and can be seen and heard as who you truly are! Alignment can take you there. And what I'm offering is my unique gift of guiding someone into feeling this truth in your heart AND IN NATURE. Because WE ARE A PART OF NATURE, I truly believe that reconnecting with nature means we reconnect to our true essence and open up direct pathways to self-determination. To know how nature works "out there", we can also understand how the nature "within" us works.
I guide you through a profound process in nature that takes us back to our basic knowledge and understanding of our place in the world. Everyone knows that feeling of happiness, freedom, lightness, and pure joy when spending time outside. Coaching outside in nature reignites and reclaims your natural abilities to heal and find answers for any of life's challenges. It's both profound and empowering. 

Here's what one client, Alexis had to say about a session that involved a hike:

"...she guided me through the process of tuning into my inner guides and challenged me to relinquish my fears so that I could embrace my own light. We began our journey with a brief but important “check in” wherein she encouraged me to create and hold onto an intention for myself. During our hike she provided me with many opportunities to inquire about the process but also to voice any revelations that might have surfaced from our meditative hike. She helped me to tap into my own strength and urged me to trust in the answers I was receiving. It was at that time that she utilized her gifts once more to help me make connections that I hadn’t noticed before. Eventually we made our way up the quiet hillside toward a warm setting sun and rested while my heart processed all that I had learned. It was a truly awesome experience to feel so grounded and at peace with the world but more importantly with myself."

If you are ready to step into this deeply transformational journey with me, schedule a quick 15 minute consultation to discover if my supporting you in nature is right for you!