Healing Hella Hurts
If you’re really serious and ready to invest in the real work of healing, then get ready for ALL THE FEELS. In relation to those around you, since you’re changing/transforming yourself, the people around you might not recognize you and that can be hurtful for everyone. This post focuses more on the physical affects of doing your transformative work, or healing.
“If you don’t hurt, then you don’t know”
Since I like to keep it real, it think its Important to talk about the reality of the healing process. Because it’s not all rose baths and massages.
If you’re really serious and ready to invest in the real work of healing, then get ready for ALL THE FEELS. It’s no wonder few people will dive deeply into their healing process because there’s risk in what happens getting pretty ugly or uncomfortable. In relation to your own body, things may come up, quite literally as I explain more later. In relation to those around you, since you’re changing/transforming yourself, the people around you might not recognize you and that can be hurtful for everyone.
In this post, I’d like to focus more on the physical affects of doing your transformative work, or healing. For instance, the after care piece of a healing hike, can be overlooked. I wanted to be transparent about the possibilities and encourage you to trust that if something physical and out of the ordinary does come up with your body, this is a good sign of energetic movement, change in perception, or release of toxins. Remember, our emotions are directly connected to our physical bodies, but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily aware of what those connections are and how they can show up after doing healing work like processing through emotional baggage.
We can protect ourselves by being prepared, paying attention, and having an after-care plan. Here’s what it is:
THE REALITY
Healing work is hard because it can literally hurt. Sore muscles, migraines, even vomiting can happen after processing through some deep emotional stuff! That’s because our emotional energy can exist in particular parts of our bodies, more noticeably when there’s stuck energy. Engaging in the unseen mediums such as energetic, metaphysical, or ancestral modalities can result in some unanticipated and non-symptomatic-like bodily responses. Crazy, right? But its true.
Additionally, our thoughts can pay a big part in how our bodies feel/react to our environment. Have you read/heard the news today? Was your heart beating with frustration?
As an example, if we engage with a deep seeded trauma and work to bring up something buried so deep, then release it, this can feel a certain way. Perhaps, even resulting in the body reacting the way it needs to so the energy can move out. Like, “purging a trauma” out of your body can literally play out like vomiting all those negativities out.
So, What is needed for a safe journey ahead? Well, every person is different and has their own emotional and physical process. But here are some things we can talk about…
Let’s first talk about AFFECTS, not effects, but AFFECTS. And I use affects here because its a verb and it means to influence something. Your healing actions should influence your healing process, not result in an effect (noun) to your healing process. If we’re engaging in non-symptomatic shifts in your well-being, then expect non-symptomatic things to happen.
AFFECTS ARE SIGNS OF MOVEMENT/ADAPTATION
No pain, no gain, right? Right.
It doesn’t always have to happen painfully. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that if it does happen, trust in the nature of things. A waaay long time ago I wrote about how “stressors” in the environment cause mutations to happen in plants. It’s part of the natural process of Resilience and Adaptation. I said,
“Stress (or stressors) are actually those signs we have in life that something is happening and is calling us to adapt. Something is happening that needs some attention because a change is about to happen. And only then, when the stressors make themselves known is when we are called to do some work to figure out how to adapt.”
Just like our plant relatives, we are resilient and we adapt. The good thing about us being conscious of our environment and able to move and search for help or resources in the face of “stressors”, is that we can consciously prepare ourselves for the journey of engaging with a “safe” and “sacred” stressor, such as a coaching session, healing hike, spiritual journey, etc…
Now that we’ve started with some language and natural law, let’s talk about preparation and protection.
PREPARATION & PROTECTION
I can’t express enough, the importance of preparation; know what you’re getting into, how to find the right practitioner, and try to get a sense of how ready and how deep you’re willing to go into your healing journey. This also helps the practitioner know if you’re the right fit for them. Do your research, get your recommendations and referrals to the right practitioner or do some sample sessions! If you’ve been on one of my hikes you know that I send everyone a pretty extensive preparation welcome letter before arrival. This is key to having a good session!
Your healing journey needs a protected container. This is why the opening and closing circles of our healing hikes are soo important to the entire experience. It’s an essential part of building the sacredness of our time as well as setting the tone (or intention) for our experience. It’s also a good way for us to protect ourselves from any distractions or interruptions from other park visitors. Think of this process as a metaphor for your process of any type of healing session you engage with. Get grounded, call in your source(s) and proceed with faith.
AFTER CARE
I often mention this at the end of our hikes or sessions, especially if we’ve just had some deep emotional experience in nature;
pay close attention to how your body is reacting and what your emotional state is like for the next few days
The affects of emotional processing sometimes takes a few days to cycle through or reveal itself. It’s important to take note (no matter how subtle) of any changes you might be feeling or if any unexpected physical or emotional things bubble up. This again, is a good sign and it might not feel good or look pretty.
Here are some of my after care tips for healing hikes or private sessions:
always stay hydrated, before and after; water is a good “leveler” of energetic exchange/change. You might notice after an emotional session you’re super thirsty. Know that you just did a lot of work!
rest well after a session, especially if you felt a sudden onset of fatigue or lethargy. This could be a sign of an emotional hangover or detox. Take a day off if you can’t concentrate or function well at work
if your gut instinct is telling you your physical or emotional affect is from the session, trust it is from the session and will pass as you take care of yourself
if your gut instinct is telling you your physical or emotional affect is from another person, trust it is from another person and will pass as you take care of yourself. You might be more sensitive to others’ energy than you thought!
the most important in this container is to PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to yourself with the intention of understanding more about how you process through things.
This is where you’ll benefit the most and one of the main reasons why I always say, this is a JOURNEY, not a cure.
You can heal yourself!
*always seek advise from a medical professional in any case that you feel like what you’re experience is something more serious. The after care and advise I give here and throughout my website is not meant to diagnose or prevent or cure any clinical ailments.
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Healing Our Soul Wounds
I first came across the concept of Soul Wounds when I saw this conference posted on Facebook. I was at the beginning stages of my healing journey, triggered by all the happenings in my life, mostly difficult circumstances. I was teaching at a juvenile detention center…
I first came across the concept of Soul Wounds when I saw this conference posted on Facebook. I was at the beginning stages of my healing journey, triggered by all the happenings in my life, mostly difficult circumstances. I was teaching at a juvenile detention center, going to therapy and practicing personal spiritual healing, and unearthing my ancestral information awaiting my DNA results. Seeing the two words, 'soul' and 'wounds' created a deep visceral response in my mind. I identified with it.
The stories of struggle and pain I held throughout my life now had a name AND I was able to see that the stories of trauma experienced by my ancestors helped shape who I am today
Click on the conference's website to listen to all the amazing talks
The fascinating information I listened to on this website gave me insights to things such as
Epigenetic research showing that the traumas my ancestors experienced are passed down as memories in our DNA molecules
How collective trauma recovery can be done with community support
And trauma, in essence, is when our sense of our identity is compromised by a tragic event,
And so much more
What was missing for me in some of the research was the aspect of the healing I will always believe in, which is incorporating nature as a tool for healing trauma. I did, however come across this article highlighting the author and psychologist, Eduardo Duran as he wrote about soul wounds from a Native American perspective. This online article in Counseling Today, Trauma and the soul wound: a multicultural and social justice perspective reveals a non-traditional approach to understanding trauma. From the article,
"Duran encourages mental health practitioners to address three levels of interventions when working with people who are suffering from trauma:
Working with individual clients who are experiencing problems due to trauma
Providing outreach, advocacy and healing services to the larger community of which the client is a part
Engaging in efforts that are aimed at what he calls “healing the land”
...Duran discusses the importance of counselors working to “heal the land.” He emphasizes the American Indian belief in the vital interconnections that exist among all animate beings and inanimate entities, as well as the spiritual energetic connections that exist between all people and Mother Earth. He further notes that the current trauma being inflicted on the Earth by our collective polluting and poisoning of the global environment has a significantly negative and traumatizing impact on our own mental health and sense of psychological well-being. "
Our steps towards healing trauma heal our soul wounds when we hike. You can also say we are healing the land by being there, drawing upon a heightened awareness of the surrounding environment, giving gratitude, and asking for permission are ways we are healing our relationship with the land. Walking in meditation reclaims the same ancestral practices of communicating with the elements and all the life around us. Sure, it may be more evident on our vicarious trauma healing hikes, but in every gathering, in every circle and dialog we are practicing the steps that allow us to heal as we endure our everyday suffering. The simple act of acknowledging the four directions is one initial step in our ceremony.
Finally, as we exist in a world in which traumatic news and events are now somewhat normalized, we must remember that our collective healing is an important part of our continued effort to keep fighting for justice through this transitioning time. As some researchers discussed in the conference, we must recognize the different types of dissonance that comes from our trauma and find ways to reintegrate into our societal structures stronger than before our trauma entered our lives. This is the goal; to be more equip in navigating our lives and live in our true and full identities as whole, complex, and beautiful beings.
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Access this "Trauma Response Toolkit" That Includes My Healing Hike Activity!
I invite you to check out the entire Trauma Response Toolkit online series where other experts, including myself, were interviewed to talk about ways in which we can tap into our personal power to overcome the many challenges of our lives and current societal turbulence. MyLife is a meditation app used widely and especially with youth and schools. Check it out!
This year has yet to fail in its epic and ongoing show of turbulence.
So I must assure you that in these times, we pull together and offer up our best support. As a trauma-informed coach, its really important to know what tools and approaches are out there and how the deep healing work we do can provide some accessible and practical tools. In the case of referring out services or sending extra tools and resources during sessions, it’s critical to know where to send folks.
That’s why when I was invited into contribute to MyLife’s Trauma Response Toolkit, I was really excited about providing the opportunity to experience nature’s healing abilities via technology! Now you can access a healing walk through the meditation app, MyLife and connect with nature anywhere!
I had already experienced the need to pivot the in-person healing hikes into virtual space in 2017 when the first episode of CA wildfires ravaged The Bay Area. No, it wasn’t actually the pandemic that initiated the pivot although the virtual healing hikes did ramp up this year due to the pandemic!
So I invite you to check out the entire Trauma Response Toolkit online series where many other experts, including myself, were interviewed to talk about ways in which we can tap into our personal power to overcome the many challenges of our lives and current societal turbulence.
Also, to be real about this experience for me, you better believe the imposter syndrome came in strong! I leaned in, took a deep breathe, and let the experience flow. Because when I saw the list of experts in this series, I couldn’t help but notice how I was one of two “experts” in the series without a PhD! That darn imposter syndrome had a brief nano-second guest appearance into my mind and I quickly ninja-chopped it out and replaced it with a healthy dose of empowerment. I told myself that this was something to celebrate, loudly and proudly! That I was really proud of myself in being visible enough for a company to recognize me in this way. And I became overwhelmed with gratitude for being part of this spread of awesome experts. I definitely gave myself so love this week! Most importantly, I know it can be a testament to encourage others that have deep, maybe disabling or toxic relationships with their ‘imposter syndrome’ thoughts. That commitment to your truth and life experience is also important to stand by amidst the norms of this world needing credibility in the form of degrees or publications.
I truly do believe that if the support you’re getting from anyone makes sense to you and does something to shift you into your truth and healing, then it’s valid. It’s worthy. It’s real.
Here’s a breakdown of some of the other guest experts:
Some of the other topics I cover in this interview for the first time, publicly is the connection to our ancestors when we heal with nature and how important ancestral healing is to our efforts to heal relationships with each other and the land we live on.
You don’t want to miss this conversation!
Now, go ahead and head on over to MyLife’s YouTube channel and check out my interview alongside other amazing practitioners offering up their perspectives and tools. And don’t forget…each practitioner has an activity in the Trauma Response Toolkit, FREE for you to access by downloading the app! Just click the links below to access all of this good stuff!
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IF YOU FOUND THIS RESOURCE HELPFUL
AND WOULD LIKE MORE LIKE THIS, SUBSCRIBE
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The Greatest Threat to Colonization is the Indigenous Woman: Part 1, Black Liberation
To understand a world in the midst of racial, social, and environmental transformation we must look into the belly of the beast and work to understand where the beast comes from, how it functions, and what its agenda is. The forces of Colonization and White Supremacy are those beasts. And the greatest threat to that is WHO WE WERE BEFORE those forces came in. Here’s part one of how I’ve lived through and view this battle.
To understand a world in the midst of racial, social, and environmental transformation we must look into the belly of the beast and work to understand where these negative forces come from, how it functions, and its agenda. The forces of colonization and white supremacy are those forces. And the greatest threat to that is WHO WE WERE BEFORE those forces came in. Here’s part one of how I’ve lived through and view this battle.
Quick Google Search
What I’m about to share with you is what my eyes have seen, what words I’ve listened to, what life experiences have taught me about our humanity and the state of the world today. My views are a result of the guidance from many of my teachers and elders, schooling, educating youth, as well as my abilities to see things this way. I’m grateful fro all of those gifts and I welcome dialogue around this post.
MY LIVED EXPERIENCE
When I was in my mid-20’s I was dating a Black man. My father caught wind of this and give me the silent treatment for about 6 months. I had no idea what his reason was for the silence. Then my mother asked me one day, “Do you have a black boyfriend?” I confirmed. And the next thing she said shocked me, but didn’t throw me off completely. She said, “Well Dad’s not talking to you because he doesn’t want Black in the family.” My response was, “Wow, you both are racist!” I felt safe enough to continue with her by telling her, “I don’t get why you think this wouldn’t happen when you raised me here in the Bay Area.” Even though in the back of my head I knew racism was very much alive in the Filipino culture, and in particular, anti-Blackness.
This was a “crucible moment” in my life that taught me that anti-Blackness was global. Because up until that point I was a brown girl navigating my life as a Filipino American. I wasn’t yet exposed to the histories and the stories of anti-Blackness outside of the United States. But it was clear to me in that moment in my parents’ faces, in their words, knowing their migration story, and the belief in anti-Blackness that it was an ideology they adopted from somewhere else. But where did they learn this? Back home in the Philippines? Or was it something they learned after immigrating here? I didn’t care to ask at that time. I was too disgusted and disappointed.
We never resolved anything around this situation, but I knew that for myself, resolution was not even an option. I had to just continue on with my life however I chose because I chose my free will.
OUR TRAVELING DNA
As a socially conscious educator and ecologist, my lens has always been one of curiosity and connection. I see things in terms of systems, inter-relatedness, and interdependence. So, personally as I went about my years teaching our youth, expanding my experiences, and getting to know me, who I am, and where I come from (because a lot of my work placed me in direct interaction with racism), I decided to take my own DNA test for ethnicity. This is where I began to understand my family’s history as well as our identity as it related to colonization.
My initial DNA results
While I was waiting for my results to come in from Ancestry.com I began asking my parents how much they knew about our ancestors. To my surprise, neither of them could tell me much more past their grandparents’ names (my great grandparents). Not much was recorded. If I wanted to dig deeper into their stories I’d have to actually go to the Philippines, maybe go to the Catholic Church for records. What was also striking for me was to see that all of my relatives had Spanish names, not Malay or indigenous in origin.
A sudden wave of emotion and information came to me and I realized
(1) they lost so much including the ability to retain indigenous names (i.e., because of assimilation),
(2) what they endured compared to what I’m enduring in this life was so much more deeper and heavier on their soul and
(3) what they endured brought me and my family to be here, now. I couldn’t help but be sad about this. But it also ignited more curiosity about ancestry, migration stories, and global race relations.
Shortly after my results came in I picked up this book by Christine Kenneally, “The Invisible History of the Human Race”. It was common knowledge to me that all of us have that <1% African DNA in us, but she confirmed it for me when she opens her Chapter 12 on The History of the World,
“When you visualize the human tree, picture its trunk firmly planted in African soil. Modern humans emerged there several hundred thousand years ago and lived only there from 250,000 years ago for at least 150,000 years - much longer span of time than we have lived across the globe.”
The chapter goes on to describe where this <1% comes from and how the band of humans that made the migration out of the land we know of as Africa remains in our DNA today. Kenneally goes on and says,
“Around sixty thousand years ago a small band of them - perhaps not much more than one thousand to two thousand five hundred individuals- went traveling. We don’t know why they left or if they had any sense that they were going somewhere new, but we do know their decision kicked off one of the biggest events in the history of the human genome.
Those who remained are the ancestors of most of the one billion people who live in Africa today. The small band that left are the ancestors of everyone else in the world, and the suite of NDA they carried was only a small sample of the variety of human genomes that existed in Africa at the time of their departure. Indeed, we know the migration occurred because even now we can see that the genomes of everyone in the world outside of Africa is a subset of the genomic variation still found in Africa.”
So basically what that book was telling me was that we all come from the land which we call Africa. Which means, WE ALL COME FROM A MOTHER FROM AFRICA. As trivial as it may seem, realizing it like this blew my mind!
ANTI-BLACKNESS
So, we all come from a Black mother. The DNA shows us that she is our most common ancestor, whoever that woman was on the land we know of as Africa. But this revelation always brought me back to this perplexing ideology of racism that globally, being Black, especially was bad.
Why is it that you can find anti-Blackness around the globe and ingrained in the beliefs of many cultures? Because I couldn’t see that there were other examples of other races being seen as so inferior in the same way. Well, the first reason is probably obvious: colonization.
THE COLONIZED MIND
There’s no other way colonization can happen successfully unless you also control the minds of the people that come from that land. Not only in Africa, but in all colonized countries (most land masses) if you don’t have pride in yourself and the land you come from, you won’t fight for it.
Colonization’s goal is to separate people from their connection to their land therefore severing a connection to themselves & their identity. This is how the colonizer can take all the power over that land and its people.
For Africa, it’s our human origin. It’s where our expansion to create and populate the rest of the world comes from.
There is a certain power that exists when you know you come from a story that began creating this world.
And that’s the type of power the colonizer DOESN’T want you to have.
The second reason is our need to …
RECONCILE WITH OURSELVES
This one is the more spiritual and existential reason.
It wasn’t until I had this frank conversation with a peer healer and Ancestral Healing practitioner, Dumbei Okonji, where I realized what the ultimate teaching was around anti-Blackness. I shared what I knew about migration, DNA, indigeneity, connections to our land and ancestry, and asked her frankly,
“But why Black? Why do we hate on Blackness so much and why is it uniquely global? I just don’t get it.”
And her profound response,
“Well when it comes down to it, we just don’t like who we are.”
Knowing this, I began to understand the deeply seeded weaponry of self hate. The more we choose to accept and adopt all forms of self hate, the more we perpetuate our separation from each other, fulfilling the colonizer’s agenda.
BLACK LIBERATION
When the evidence showed me the origins of humans coming firmly from Africa, I began to understand the importance of Black Liberation.
To support and advocate for Black Liberation is to connect us back to who we are as humans.
And this can be a form of radical healing
Knowing the history of Black people over time, what they’ve endured, their ancestral story, and the impacts that continue to destroy and perpetuate destruction due to enslavement and colonization, lives within their bones, blood, and DNA of their descendants. WE are all their descendants.
Over time, as our origin from Africa migrated out to populate the rest of the land globally, our lineages began with our own indigenous mothers, giving each lineage their own origin story. Each of our lineages have their own grandeur family tree deeply rooted and planted in the land that we each came from. This also helped me understand the importance of indigeneity as the greatest threat to colonization, but that’s for Part 2!
So, in partial conclusion, this exploration of my own individual identity has opened up so much learning and unlearning about who I am and how my identity can show up event in how we relate with each other.
I hope you’re able to gain a little bit more for yourself after my share.
Please comment and add to the conversation in the comments below!
In Part 2 we’ll go even deeper into the concept and cover:
INDIGENOUS SOVEREIGNTY & THE INDIGENOUS WOMAN
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Healing Our Soul Wounds
I first came across the concept of Soul Wounds when I saw this conference posted on Facebook. I was at the beginning stages of my healing journey, triggered by all the happenings in my life, mostly difficult circumstances. I was teaching at a juvenile detention center…
I first came across the concept of Soul Wounds when I saw this conference posted on Facebook. I was at the beginning stages of my healing journey, triggered by all the happenings in my life, mostly difficult circumstances. I was teaching at a juvenile detention center, going to therapy and practicing personal spiritual healing, and unearthing my ancestral information awaiting my DNA results. Seeing the two words, 'soul' and 'wounds' created a deep visceral response in my mind. I identified with it.
The stories of struggle and pain I held throughout my life now had a name AND I was able to see that the stories of trauma experienced by my ancestors helped shape who I am today
Click on the conference's website to listen to all the amazing talks
The fascinating information I listened to on this website gave me insights to things such as
Epigenetic research showing that the traumas my ancestors experienced are passed down as memories in our DNA molecules
How collective trauma recovery can be done with community support
And trauma, in essence, is when our sense of our identity is compromised by a tragic event,
And so much more
What was missing for me in some of the research was the aspect of the healing I will always believe in, which is incorporating nature as a tool for healing trauma. I did, however come across this article highlighting the author and psychologist, Eduardo Duran as he wrote about soul wounds from a Native American perspective. This online article in Counseling Today, Trauma and the soul wound: a multicultural and social justice perspective reveals a non-traditional approach to understanding trauma. From the article,
"Duran encourages mental health practitioners to address three levels of interventions when working with people who are suffering from trauma:
Working with individual clients who are experiencing problems due to trauma
Providing outreach, advocacy and healing services to the larger community of which the client is a part
Engaging in efforts that are aimed at what he calls “healing the land”
...Duran discusses the importance of counselors working to “heal the land.” He emphasizes the American Indian belief in the vital interconnections that exist among all animate beings and inanimate entities, as well as the spiritual energetic connections that exist between all people and Mother Earth. He further notes that the current trauma being inflicted on the Earth by our collective polluting and poisoning of the global environment has a significantly negative and traumatizing impact on our own mental health and sense of psychological well-being. "
Our steps towards healing trauma heal our soul wounds when we hike. You can also say we are healing the land by being there, drawing upon a heightened awareness of the surrounding environment, giving gratitude, and asking for permission are ways we are healing our relationship with the land. Walking in meditation reclaims the same ancestral practices of communicating with the elements and all the life around us. Sure, it may be more evident on our vicarious trauma healing hikes, but in every gathering, in every circle and dialog we are practicing the steps that allow us to heal as we endure our everyday suffering. The simple act of acknowledging the four directions is one initial step in our ceremony.
Finally, as we exist in a world in which traumatic news and events are now somewhat normalized, we must remember that our collective healing is an important part of our continued effort to keep fighting for justice through this transitioning time. As some researchers discussed in the conference, we must recognize the different types of dissonance that comes from our trauma and find ways to reintegrate into our societal structures stronger than before our trauma entered our lives. This is the goal; to be more equip in navigating our lives and live in our true and full identities as whole, complex, and beautiful beings.
WANT MORE TOOLS AND INFORMATION LIKE THIS? SIGN UP FOR THE MONTHLY NEWSLETTER AND FOR TOOLS, INFO, & OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THIS DIRECTLY TO YOUR INBOX