Healing Hella Hurts

“If you don’t hurt, then you don’t know”

— Manongs from the I-Hotel documentary

Since I like to keep it real, it think its Important to talk about the reality of the healing process. Because it’s not all rose baths and massages.

If you’re really serious and ready to invest in the real work of healing, then get ready for ALL THE FEELS. It’s no wonder few people will dive deeply into their healing process because there’s risk in what happens getting pretty ugly or uncomfortable. In relation to your own body, things may come up, quite literally as I explain more later. In relation to those around you, since you’re changing/transforming yourself, the people around you might not recognize you and that can be hurtful for everyone.

In this post, I’d like to focus more on the physical affects of doing your transformative work, or healing. For instance, the after care piece of a healing hike, can be overlooked. I wanted to be transparent about the possibilities and encourage you to trust that if something physical and out of the ordinary does come up with your body, this is a good sign of energetic movement, change in perception, or release of toxins. Remember, our emotions are directly connected to our physical bodies, but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily aware of what those connections are and how they can show up after doing healing work like processing through emotional baggage.

We can protect ourselves by being prepared, paying attention, and having an after-care plan. Here’s what it is:

THE REALITY

Healing work is hard because it can literally hurt. Sore muscles, migraines, even vomiting can happen after processing through some deep emotional stuff! That’s because our emotional energy can exist in particular parts of our bodies, more noticeably when there’s stuck energy. Engaging in the unseen mediums such as energetic, metaphysical, or ancestral modalities can result in some unanticipated and non-symptomatic-like bodily responses. Crazy, right? But its true.

Additionally, our thoughts can pay a big part in how our bodies feel/react to our environment. Have you read/heard the news today? Was your heart beating with frustration?

As an example, if we engage with a deep seeded trauma and work to bring up something buried so deep, then release it, this can feel a certain way. Perhaps, even resulting in the body reacting the way it needs to so the energy can move out. Like, “purging a trauma” out of your body can literally play out like vomiting all those negativities out.

So, What is needed for a safe journey ahead? Well, every person is different and has their own emotional and physical process. But here are some things we can talk about…

Let’s first talk about AFFECTS, not effects, but AFFECTS. And I use affects here because its a verb and it means to influence something. Your healing actions should influence your healing process, not result in an effect (noun) to your healing process. If we’re engaging in non-symptomatic shifts in your well-being, then expect non-symptomatic things to happen.

AFFECTS ARE SIGNS OF MOVEMENT/ADAPTATION

No pain, no gain, right? Right.

It doesn’t always have to happen painfully. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that if it does happen, trust in the nature of things. A waaay long time ago I wrote about how “stressors” in the environment cause mutations to happen in plants. It’s part of the natural process of Resilience and Adaptation. I said,

“Stress (or stressors) are actually those signs we have in life that something is happening and is calling us to adapt. Something is happening that needs some attention because a change is about to happen. And only then, when the stressors make themselves known is when we are called to do some work to figure out how to adapt.”

Just like our plant relatives, we are resilient and we adapt. The good thing about us being conscious of our environment and able to move and search for help or resources in the face of “stressors”, is that we can consciously prepare ourselves for the journey of engaging with a “safe” and “sacred” stressor, such as a coaching session, healing hike, spiritual journey, etc…

Now that we’ve started with some language and natural law, let’s talk about preparation and protection.

PREPARATION & PROTECTION

I can’t express enough, the importance of preparation; know what you’re getting into, how to find the right practitioner, and try to get a sense of how ready and how deep you’re willing to go into your healing journey. This also helps the practitioner know if you’re the right fit for them. Do your research, get your recommendations and referrals to the right practitioner or do some sample sessions! If you’ve been on one of my hikes you know that I send everyone a pretty extensive preparation welcome letter before arrival. This is key to having a good session!

Your healing journey needs a protected container. This is why the opening and closing circles of our healing hikes are soo important to the entire experience. It’s an essential part of building the sacredness of our time as well as setting the tone (or intention) for our experience. It’s also a good way for us to protect ourselves from any distractions or interruptions from other park visitors. Think of this process as a metaphor for your process of any type of healing session you engage with. Get grounded, call in your source(s) and proceed with faith.

AFTER CARE

I often mention this at the end of our hikes or sessions, especially if we’ve just had some deep emotional experience in nature;

pay close attention to how your body is reacting and what your emotional state is like for the next few days

The affects of emotional processing sometimes takes a few days to cycle through or reveal itself. It’s important to take note (no matter how subtle) of any changes you might be feeling or if any unexpected physical or emotional things bubble up. This again, is a good sign and it might not feel good or look pretty.

Here are some of my after care tips for healing hikes or private sessions:

• always stay hydrated, before and after; water is a good “leveler” of energetic exchange/change. You might notice after an emotional session you’re super thirsty. Know that you just did a lot of work!

• rest well after a session, especially if you felt a sudden onset of fatigue or lethargy. This could be a sign of an emotional hangover or detox. Take a day off if you can’t concentrate or function well at work

• if your gut instinct is telling you your physical or emotional affect is from the session, trust it is from the session and will pass as you take care of yourself

• if your gut instinct is telling you your physical or emotional affect is from another person, trust it is from another person and will pass as you take care of yourself. You might be more sensitive to others’ energy than you thought!

• the most important in this container is to PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to yourself with the intention of understanding more about how you process through things.

  This is where you’ll benefit the most and one of the main reasons why I always say, this is a JOURNEY, not a cure.

You can heal yourself!

*always seek advise from a medical professional in any case that you feel like what you’re experience is something more serious. The after care and advise I give here and throughout my website is not meant to diagnose or prevent or cure any clinical ailments.

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What is Trauma Informed Coaching?

What is Trauma Informed Coaching?

with Coach Reva Patwardhan

Finding the right person to help you through major challenges in both life and career can get a little tricky for a person of color. Lack of options or financial access are certainly barriers. And the importance of representation in professional and personal services is becoming more and more a need and requirement in cultivating a safe and inclusive environment to do work where vulnerability is critical. Often times a disconnect or lack of cultural awareness on the part of the practitioner can cause more harm than help.

Listen in on this conversation I have with Reva Patwardhan, of Greater Good Coaching as we talk about

• What trauma informed coaching is

• What oppression informed coaching is

• What’s important about these aspects of our practice as women coaches of color and how it shows up in ourselves as well as our clients

• How we manage and do the work WE are responsible for doing to prevent causing more harm.

This was a really interesting and enjoyable conversation with Reva and I hope it sheds some light for you as you seek or work with practitioners that hold space for the more tender parts of your growth and development!

**Scroll down below the video to see the minute breakdown of the conversation!

00:33 Introductions

03:27 Why we coach

10:03 How healing shows up in our coaching

13:36 Defining trauma

20:20 Being trauma informed in our practice

23:26 Oppression informed coaching

29:23 Consequences of NOT being trauma & oppression informed

31:53 Being there for the client

38:32 It's okay to fire your coach!

41:25 Final messages from each coach

THANK YOU FOR READING!

 IF YOU FOUND THIS RESOURCE HELPFUL
AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE WAYS TO CONNECT TO NATURE,

SUBSCRIBE
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Access this "Trauma Response Toolkit" That Includes My Healing Hike Activity!

This year has yet to fail in its epic and ongoing show of turbulence.

So I must assure you that in these times, we pull together and offer up our best support. As a trauma-informed coach, its really important to know what tools and approaches are out there and how the deep healing work we do can provide some accessible and practical tools. In the case of referring out services or sending extra tools and resources during sessions, it’s critical to know where to send folks.

That’s why when I was invited into contribute to MyLife’s Trauma Response Toolkit, I was really excited about providing the opportunity to experience nature’s healing abilities via technology! Now you can access a healing walk through the meditation app, MyLife and connect with nature anywhere!

I had already experienced the need to pivot the in-person healing hikes into virtual space in 2017 when the first episode of CA wildfires ravaged The Bay Area. No, it wasn’t actually the pandemic that initiated the pivot although the virtual healing hikes did ramp up this year due to the pandemic!

So I invite you to check out the entire Trauma Response Toolkit online series where many other experts, including myself, were interviewed to talk about ways in which we can tap into our personal power to overcome the many challenges of our lives and current societal turbulence.

Also, to be real about this experience for me, you better believe the imposter syndrome came in strong! I leaned in, took a deep breathe, and let the experience flow. Because when I saw the list of experts in this series, I couldn’t help but notice how I was one of two “experts” in the series without a PhD! That darn imposter syndrome had a brief nano-second guest appearance into my mind and I quickly ninja-chopped it out and replaced it with a healthy dose of empowerment. I told myself that this was something to celebrate, loudly and proudly! That I was really proud of myself in being visible enough for a company to recognize me in this way. And I became overwhelmed with gratitude for being part of this spread of awesome experts. I definitely gave myself so love this week! Most importantly, I know it can be a testament to encourage others that have deep, maybe disabling or toxic relationships with their ‘imposter syndrome’ thoughts. That commitment to your truth and life experience is also important to stand by amidst the norms of this world needing credibility in the form of degrees or publications.

I truly do believe that if the support you’re getting from anyone makes sense to you and does something to shift you into your truth and healing, then it’s valid. It’s worthy. It’s real.

Here’s a breakdown of some of the other guest experts:

Some of the other topics I cover in this interview for the first time, publicly is the connection to our ancestors when we heal with nature and how important ancestral healing is to our efforts to heal relationships with each other and the land we live on.

You don’t want to miss this conversation!

Now, go ahead and head on over to MyLife’s YouTube channel and check out my interview alongside other amazing practitioners offering up their perspectives and tools. And don’t forget…each practitioner has an activity in the Trauma Response Toolkit, FREE for you to access by downloading the app! Just click the links below to access all of this good stuff!

THANK YOU FOR READING!
 IF YOU FOUND THIS RESOURCE HELPFUL
AND WOULD LIKE MORE LIKE THIS, SUBSCRIBE
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SPECIAL APPEARANCE: Fist Up Film Festival & Upcoming Hikes

JOIN ME TOMORROW (5/16) AT E14 Gallery in Oakland
7pm-10pm
for the 8th Annual Fist Up Film Festival

for a special appearance after the screening of Independent Lens Documentary, Ovarian Psycos and other short films

 

 

I will join in on the post-screening conversation about healing, trauma, organizing, and the healing hikes that have mobilized the local community to go outside to reconnect with nature and our ancestors

Watch the trailer here

From PBS.org,

"In this excerpt from Independent Lens documentary Ovarian Psycos, Andi Xoch, one of the members of the Ovas bike brigade, talks about growing up as the child of Mexican immigrants in East Los Angeles and Boyle Heights, where Mexican culture was everywhere. This was the birthplace of the Chicano civil rights movement, in which women were respected core community organizers. Maylei Blackwell, author of Chicana Power!, talks about how she sees the Ovarian Psycos as a natural extension of this movement in which women are empowered to speak out."

 FILM INFO

Event is free and open to the public. Register on Eventbrite before they sell out.

Upcoming Hikes

Wednesday, May 17th
Coyote Hills Regional Park
Fremont, CA
9am-11am
Meet at the Quarry Staging Area parking lot
$5 parking fee
$30 Heart Offering

Friday, May 26th
Alum Rock Park
San Jose, CA
6pm-8pm (sunset)
Meet at the free parking lot
$30 Heart Offering

Wednesday, May 31st
Berkeley Location TBD
9am-11am

 

Feeding the Inner Soul with Healing Outside

This guest blog post appeared on Nutrition Consultant, Mike Nguyen's blog on December 26th, 2016.  Alas! The year is coming to a close! Can you believe it? Now is the time to reflect on and celebrate the year past. But for many the weight of the holidays and all its festivities are a true challenge in keeping balanced both physically and mentally as we charge through to December 31st. EMOTIONAL well being, meaning the well being of spirit, can also be challenged. Especially in these most recent months of more social and political tensions, I’m seeing and hearing the vast majority of us longing for some sort of timeout from society’s happenings. It’s true and it’s real. We are a nation in transition; the world is going through it as well.

So how do we maintain the balance of mind, body, and spirit when in every soundwave, every corner there lies some sort of commotion happening? How do we sit with our position in these events?

How do we manage our stress, better yet, move through stress with a time out from life? Nature, of course! It’s the one thing that grounds us, the one thing we are made of, and the one thing you can guarantee is there for you WHENEVER you need it.

And for those over achievers out there, I’m not talking about a trip to the beach or some epic Redwood Forest hike, although if those things are close to you, I say go there! We ALL should be able to find nature no matter where we are. Impossible you say? Let me illustrate for you how I coach during walks in nature whether wild or urban.

When we go outside say, “for some fresh air”, there’s more to that statement than the physical intake of less contaminated, indoor oxygen. Breathing outside in nature does something to your body, therefore something in your mind triggers an ancient memory. Outside is where we come from. The elements outside are also found in our bodies. Think about it. Earth (our body), Air (oxygen we breathe), Water (in our cells), and Fire (adrenaline, or the passion in our hearts). All of these elements that exist in us, exist outside. So when I start a hike with my clients we always acknowledge these elements FIRST. Then, we ask those elements FOR PERMISSION to heal us from whatever it is we need healing or balancing around. I’ve done this with clients on a forested trail and I’ve done this sitting in front of Lake Merritt with a lot of people walking by. This can be an everyday stress management practice for you. This can be your meditation.

This simple practice of acknowledgment and asking for permission is an intentional way to feed your inner soul. Just like when you would mindfully choose your meals because you want to make healthier choices in nutrition intake, acknowledgment of the natural elements around you when you are outside and asking for permission for balancing are the synonymous actions of intention setting. And when we walk through life with more intention, magical shifts begin to happen.

Back in October I started a series of monthly healing hikes in San Francisco called, Vicarious Trauma Healing Hikes. This hike invited service professionals working directly with clients experiencing trauma. The work is stressful. The work takes work to stay balanced. I know from previous career experience, vicarious trauma can house those dangerous levels of stress that impact everyone. So, I worked with my spiritual teacher to create a walk in meditation and healing for these professionals so they can cleanse themselves of stress-related symptoms and go back to work in full capacity to sustain their service. In this intentional process, we ritualized our presence by acknowledging the elements and asked Nature to accept the stress energies we would be releasing to her that day. The processing of trauma proved to be transformative for all of our participants.

“The Sunset Healing hike gave me permission to focus on my self-care needs and gave me the courage to continue my self care practice with no apologies.” — Lyslynn Lacoste, Director, BMAGIC in SF

I also started weekly healing hikes in Oakland. Since then, hikers say they are feeling much lighter at the end of our walk; there’s healing happening. Jessica Sanchez, a Program Manager for Grassroots Ecology in Palo Alto says the facilitation is, “…using and reclaiming nature to honor and replenish our spirits on these wonderful healing hikes…..I feel free to be myself and explore who I am.”

Reclaiming. That’s that ancient memory I mentioned earlier when we breathe in fresh air. Reclaiming Nature is a part of our identity and that’s important when we need to feed the soul. When we go back to these ancient memories we are healed the same way our ancestors were healed and guided through life. And when we feel some sort of reconnection to our spaces, we know that our souls are being fed. I invite you to join me on a healing hike someday and engage in this radical act of self care alongside your daily routine of healthy living. Mindful walking and mindful eating go hand-in-hand with a holistic approach to a better life. To find out when and where the next healing hike will be, follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and my website.

Inviting in the Elements to Move Through Sorrow

The mood around The Town is pretty heavy right now. It's a mixture of the usual hustle & bustle of holiday festivities coming up, but in the background of tragedy. The Oakland Ghostship Fire happened near me. If I need to hop onto Bart or drive down to the highway, I have to see the streets that are blocked off for the investigation and watch the police and firefighters working tirelessly. And its overwhelming. The amount of sorrow that came to me on Saturday morning, the morning after the fire was also overwhelming. Because I saw the actual building, its remnants, the people, the police, the tents up. It sunk my heart to the ground. I can't image. Right now I can gratefully say, I'm only witness to this tragedy. I know I have friends out there who are directly mourning the losses and who did share moments in life and memories with these artists and activists. So this isn't "far" from me at all. It isn't far from anyone, really. In this time of deep sorrow and a season that brings us into a deeply compassionate place, how can we hold ourselves and our community through such a tragic event?

Honoring the human process of shock or grief or sadness is a needed step in the healing process. It's a critical acknowledgment of our human condition. We honor these by being present in these states as long as we need to be; individually, as a community, during vigils, etc. When it gets hard to be present is when we get interrupted, we're asked questions, or we need to go back to work, or we need to take care of this or that. It causes our healing to take longer. What can we do if we don't have full capacity to grieve and process wholly?

When I lead participants on healing hikes I invite in all the elements of Earth, air, fire, and water, by calling on the four directions that hold them, North, East, South, and West respectively. If you're not familiar with medicine wheels, these are the diagrams that show us the interconnectedness of our world. When we place ourselves in nature we are in direct sight and contact with these elements. Not to mention, in direct communication to them as well! So, an intentional healing hike is when I honor the directions, invite their elements in, and then begin the process of healing the individual while we walk in meditation. I've coached through grief at Lake Merritt, a very public and populated area in nature. And I've coached in the forest, deeply immersed into the redwood groves. As long as you are intentionally honoring the elements to be there for your healing you are honoring yourself through a process. And THAT creates transformation.

As you think about holding a space for yourself and/or community, try to remember  how these elements are here for you. Each direction holds something in our value for healing. When you cry you are actually inviting in the West; it holds the water that allows us to move through things and actually heal. The East is air and when we get overwhelmed we take a deep breath and sigh allowing newness to come in after darkness. The South is fire where we gain insight, understanding, and a strong heart. The North is Earth that holds the wisdom we need to keep grounded and on the wheel to bring us back to the East.

Grounding and interconnectedness is dependent on the world around us. The people you are surrounded by at any moment in your life, the places you find yourself experiencing...they all have influence and energy. Hold onto the components that bring you balance, light, and celebration even in the saddest of times. And remember the four directions and the elements they hold. You face each direction everyday and we are made of each of the elements they hold!