I Coach Disruptors ⚠️ Here Are Signs You're One Of Them 🛑

Calm down.
Don’t be so emotional.
You’re overreacting.
You’re too intense.

All of these comments make my blood boil. Because I know internally these comments are meant to silence me, to make me smaller, tone me down, or control me. I’ve been told these things all my life. Growing up as an empathic kid, one who felt emotional overwhelm when someone was mistreated, I tended to speak up or ask questions to understand why the world was the way it was. And not everyone was comfortable with that.

But as I grew into my teenage years and young adulthood, I did what most people do; I molded to the comments and I consciously or subconsciously agreed to the judgments or gaslighting (we didn’t have that term growing up, btw). I think I submitted to keep myself safe from harm or from being ostracized. 

But over time, as my career developed, I realized the choice to be silenced cost me my voice and my agency. Because I was outspoken, it cost me jobs. I literally was pushed out of positions because I was pointing out unethical practices and institutional racism with my higher-ups. This happened twice.

Now that I think about it, as I was building up my leadership, I really didn’t have role models for my rage. Coaching wasn’t a thing offered for professional development, and most of what was out there were diversity programs; aka, failed attempts to have us conform to the status quo, white supremacy culture in the workplace. 

I wish I had the language, rhetoric, and supportive environments that embraced my fiery nature instead of teaching me how to be more likable.

So, how did I end up finding my voice/agency and embracing my natural rage?  TBH, I had to reach outside of my professional career and resources and start working on myself on a personal level. I couldn’t have come to the place I’m in now, fully on my path as a coach, healer, and facilitator, had I not stretched myself to go into spiritual development. 

Now that I’ve blended all parts of my leadership into my coaching style, I realized that I tend to have clients who resemble a lot of who I am and what I’ve gone through in life. I guess you can say it’s the way that my life lessons are now available to share and support others on a similar path! 

To fully accept myself I had to come to terms with my identity as a DISTRUPTOR. Once I did that I felt more whole, more complete in my identity. And I started to notice how my clients tended to be disruptors themselves! Suddenly I can recognize the rage, the frustration, and support them in a way that celebrates and empowers the change agents they are (without them losing their jobs, of coarse)! 

So, over these last 9 years of working with leaders 1:1, I noticed the traits below as the
DISRUPTOR ARCHETYPE.

Are you one of them? How many can you say "yes" to?

• Stands firm on beliefs of justice and truth: They are willing to risk positions of power to advocate for what they believe is right, acting as altruists of truth and universal law.

• Possesses powerful, often unseen accomplishments: Their past successes are not public but serve as a "secret weapon," providing a high moral ground from which they operate.

• Highly aware, empathic, and educated on societal dysfunction: They understand the root causes of problems and are fierce advocates for solutions that align with nature and universal/natural law.

• Needs balance and deep human connection: Despite their fiery nature, they crave validation, human-centered relationships, and deeper connections to prevent burnout.

• Looks to nature for validation and guidance: They believe nature holds the answers for healing and "setting things right," trusting it to guide their approach to change.

If you answered yes to all, let’s flip the script on what it means to be a disruptor and make changes in our organizations without losing a job, having fallouts in relationships, or feeling alone and “too much” of anything. You’re more than enough, you’re meant to do this work!

My private 1:1 spaces are here to accept and witness ALL of you, to nurture and embrace all the rage you've been containing. Despite what your external environment tells you about who you should be, you already know who you are in all the heightened emotions that come up when in the face of injustices. Let's get to the root of your beliefs and how you see the world doing better, being better for the sake of the collective shift towards right relationship with each other. Let's work together to find a more effective way as you contribute on the frontlines!

Let’s find a time on my calendar to talk about ways you can cultivate your leadership THROUGH your rage and characteristic of being a DISRUPTOR!

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THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY!
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PLEASE SHARE WIDELY TO YOUR NETWORKS & FRIENDS
Comment below to dialogue with me!

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Life Re-traumatized & How I Stopped the Cycle of Harm

Life Re-traumatized

& How I Stopped the Cycle of Harm

Yes, working in prisons isn't for the faint of heart. It takes a certain type of person to be there on a daily basis. For me, it was one of the most rewarding and meaningful experiences of my career. In addition to that, I always tell people (mostly for people of color) if they have any interest in working in prisons don't do it. Well, don't do it unless you are fully aware of what you're getting into AND you've got a strong self care plan, fully loaded with resources and allies inside & outside of the facility.

When I first started working in juvenile justice facilities I knew what I was good at. And that was to reach and teach environmental education to "high risk" youth populations. What I didn't know was that I was experiencing compounded trauma by placing myself in these situations. Let me be more explicit about what I mean by compounded trauma.

As a woman of color working in direct service to said communities, it wasn't until I left my last non-profit where I was now able to observe a more privileged white woman doing a very similar job of educating in prison. After being an observer to her facilitation, I realized just how traumatizing it had been for me to have done this kind of work as a conscious (woke) woman of color. During her facilitation I noticed that when the dialogue from one student touched on a statement about the actual system of oppression that prisons represented, she listened, but her response redirected the dialogue to focus on something more superficial. I can't remember what she started talking about specifically, but I knew that was the point of difference for me. And I was triggered by that. I felt the dialogue was shut down, that the student wasn't validated or nurtured in their beliefs about "the system" and there was no space to continue to dialogue around that.

I started to sense that unlike her, (with checked assumptions here) who she can do the J-O-B, be in these facilities with these communities, then go back home to something different. I couldn't do that. I didn't have the privilege of putting my blinders on whenever, to not find commonality with my students in the way I looked, maybe the ways in which I grew up and had similar lived experiences and emotions as my students, etc... Then on top of that, I had to go home and wonder why there was so much trash on my streets and broken down cars, why did another kid got shot at the corner store?, why is it such a struggle to just get ahead in life?...

I realized then, thatI worked in trauma,
"walked the streets" in trauma,
and I went home to trauma.
I had no rest. 
 

The serendipitous part of that moment was that I finally came into a reconciliation about the differences between privileged white folks working in these communities and my own identity as a POC doing the same work.

I was more prone to being re-traumatized while on the job

But on my long drive home from that observation I came into that knowing. I said to myself, hey the men in that facility have gained so much growth, healing, and a safe place to process that I can't disregard that. If she, (privileged white woman) can do it, handle it, continue to proceed after so many years, then good for her! She's able to facilitate and impact these men and this program needs to keep it going! So, now that I reached that reconciliation, I had to make my next move. How then, would I continue to do the things I'm good at and loved to do while still working with my community WITHOUT getting re-traumatized? First,

I needed to find a way to END my own daily
CYCLE of trauma

I needed to begin my own HEALING

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So what were my first steps in this journey?

Gather (get a hold of) myself
Gather my tribe of support
Figure out what needed to be healed
Start practicing

During that specific time in my life where I was in that prison observing this woman, I had just gotten laid off from my last position. And that lay off didn't go down as a mutual agreement in any way. I was emotionally vulnerable and I felt a little lost, mostly defeated. Still I held my ground and trusted that there was a bigger purpose for me. And that there must be something behind the pattern of losses and frustrations of working in non-profit environmental organizations. I was reminded from a good friend that I couldn't possibly take on all of the blame for how things turned out for me; that there are always those components of this system at play here. 

So in trying to figure out what needed to be healed, I doubled down on figuring out where I needed to be next. I continued working with a small and special group of women as a support system to heal daily as well as to develop my spiritual awareness, I engaged fully in my coaching certification program and utilized our practice sessions to address these specific pain points, and I asked for more of myself to just surrender to my spiritual path as a healer.

No doubt its constant work, learning, and growth.
But my everything and every part of me is affirmed every time I'm with a client
or out with a group on a healing hike; I'm now walking my path.

I say this to many of my clients in exploration and wonder around what is next. I say, pay more attention to the things that bring you light, levity, and fulfillment. Those are the places you want to go towards. And for those places that aren't so bright, maybe they are darker in feeling, they are places of hurt or bad feelings AND approach them head-on and ask in the most direct way, "What are you here to teach me?" 

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY STORY. IF YOU ENJOYED THIS PIECE, PLEASE SHARE WITH OTHERS AND JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION BY COMMENTING BELOW!

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MEET THE COACH

Raynelle Rino, CPC

A long time social sector professional, Raynelle began her career in the sciences as an ecology field researcher then moved onto environmental education and social justice at the grassroots organizational level in the Bay Area. Her love for nature and youth development brought her to teach in unique settings like alternative high schools, environmental justice neighborhoods, parks, and juvenile justice facilities.

In 2016 Raynelle started Rino Consulting Solutions, a nature-based consulting firm that provides coaching and consulting services for professionals and other businesses. It’s mission is to support and inspire the leaders of today to live in the confidence of their identities as they move through a world in the midst of social, racial, and environmental transformation. Raynelle is a graduate of Humboldt State University with a BS in Biology, a Rising Leaders and 2042 Today fellow, and lives in Oakland with her husband and daughter.

When My Dreams Started Coming True

I don't really speak openly to too many people about my lucid dreams, although they've been a significant part of why I'm here doing the work I do.

While exploring my spiritual identity, I was seeing a spiritual healer and going to therapy. I would say at that time in my life, I really needed both types of support to help me through both personal and professional challenges. Naturally, I thought I should bring up dreams during sessions because they were just so intense. Little did I know they were messages guiding me towards my path.

Take for instance this featured photo. I took this picture at Point Reyes, on the Tomales Point Trail earlier this month. I had the dream about this place about 8 months before I actually hiked it. So when I get there, I decided to take the photo exactly how I remember seeing this trail in my dream.

I knew it was this location I dreamt about because of the distinct cliff sides on either side of the trail. In the dream my feet weren't exactly planted on the ground. I was flying over the point seeing people happily enjoying their time on the beach (probably Stinson Beach) on a hot and sunny day. I was also with a group of women walking back towards the trailhead at the end of a long hike. Of coarse, at the time I had the dream I had no idea this was an actual real place. I just knew I went to this amazing location, with women, on a very gorgeous an joyous day. And I FELT like it was near.

So here's where this summer dream comes true this winter: Not knowing much about Point Reyes area, one of my dear friends requests that I lead a group of women for a healing hike several miles North of Point Reyes as a part of their retreat. Going about my usual planning process, I look up trails in the area and find recognizable pictures of Tomales Point. Bingo! "I've been there before"

Now, that's just one simple example of how one of my dreams materializes into my real-awake conscious life. And you can probably say that was meant to be that I be there and lead a hike with the women. But this happens to me often and with dreams that are much more vivid and intense in situation. 

Earlier, when my spiritual awareness was just waking up, I would feel so overwhelmed by the dreams and the intensity of my experience that it would really spook me out. I would wake up with such clear, intense emotional residual from being in the dream that I couldn't help but write it down or share it with my partner, and reflect deeply on why that came to me.

I remember having an intense dream while I was working with adjudicated youth. I was also questioning why I loved the challenging work so much because I was torn about leaving my students. In this dream, I was with my students at a near by beach, when an old indigenous man walked slowly up onto the shore of a lagoon, pushing onto the shore, a mummified young boy on a rafter. He had been shot. As this man stopped on the shore, he looked me square in the eyes with such intensity, non-verbally telling me to "look at what's happening to them". Then I woke up. 

That intensity is why I actively sought out council and guidance. And that guidance really put things into perspective for me, affirming for me that the ancestors are speaking to me, guiding me, and showing me messages I need to see, process, and connect to what I'm doing here on Earth. The guidance also helped me realize that the communication IS TRUE and a gift I should hold with reverence. Now, I live in more confidence with my dreams and reflect on them with more discipline and awareness that there's a deeper message available for my spirit to guide me through this real-awake-conscious life.   

My dreams are really just extensions of who I am and how I'm walking in this world in communication with the ancestors and The Divine.

Why share this with you now? I truly, truly believe that we as a society are hungry for spiritual connection. In times where we're experiencing extremes in dualities, ideologies, violence, climate, we're facing the options of spirituality to find our answers, or to find our calm center, to stay grounded and not lose hope or faith. I live as that example to surrender to anything your spirit is guiding you towards. Because it's the magic our souls are crying for these days and the magic our ancestors are looking for us to RECLAIM.

The dreams I have and me sharing what it means for me to experience my dreams is my way of validating that our thoughts, believed to be abstract, are REAL.

Pay attention to them and how they show up in you because I know they are ways in which your true gifts are showing. 

Do you know how your gifts are showing up in your life? I'm curious!

Share with me your thoughts, questions, curiosities in your spiritual connection and drop a comment below!

Inviting in the Elements to Move Through Sorrow

The mood around The Town is pretty heavy right now. It's a mixture of the usual hustle & bustle of holiday festivities coming up, but in the background of tragedy. The Oakland Ghostship Fire happened near me. If I need to hop onto Bart or drive down to the highway, I have to see the streets that are blocked off for the investigation and watch the police and firefighters working tirelessly. And its overwhelming. The amount of sorrow that came to me on Saturday morning, the morning after the fire was also overwhelming. Because I saw the actual building, its remnants, the people, the police, the tents up. It sunk my heart to the ground. I can't image. Right now I can gratefully say, I'm only witness to this tragedy. I know I have friends out there who are directly mourning the losses and who did share moments in life and memories with these artists and activists. So this isn't "far" from me at all. It isn't far from anyone, really. In this time of deep sorrow and a season that brings us into a deeply compassionate place, how can we hold ourselves and our community through such a tragic event?

Honoring the human process of shock or grief or sadness is a needed step in the healing process. It's a critical acknowledgment of our human condition. We honor these by being present in these states as long as we need to be; individually, as a community, during vigils, etc. When it gets hard to be present is when we get interrupted, we're asked questions, or we need to go back to work, or we need to take care of this or that. It causes our healing to take longer. What can we do if we don't have full capacity to grieve and process wholly?

When I lead participants on healing hikes I invite in all the elements of Earth, air, fire, and water, by calling on the four directions that hold them, North, East, South, and West respectively. If you're not familiar with medicine wheels, these are the diagrams that show us the interconnectedness of our world. When we place ourselves in nature we are in direct sight and contact with these elements. Not to mention, in direct communication to them as well! So, an intentional healing hike is when I honor the directions, invite their elements in, and then begin the process of healing the individual while we walk in meditation. I've coached through grief at Lake Merritt, a very public and populated area in nature. And I've coached in the forest, deeply immersed into the redwood groves. As long as you are intentionally honoring the elements to be there for your healing you are honoring yourself through a process. And THAT creates transformation.

As you think about holding a space for yourself and/or community, try to remember  how these elements are here for you. Each direction holds something in our value for healing. When you cry you are actually inviting in the West; it holds the water that allows us to move through things and actually heal. The East is air and when we get overwhelmed we take a deep breath and sigh allowing newness to come in after darkness. The South is fire where we gain insight, understanding, and a strong heart. The North is Earth that holds the wisdom we need to keep grounded and on the wheel to bring us back to the East.

Grounding and interconnectedness is dependent on the world around us. The people you are surrounded by at any moment in your life, the places you find yourself experiencing...they all have influence and energy. Hold onto the components that bring you balance, light, and celebration even in the saddest of times. And remember the four directions and the elements they hold. You face each direction everyday and we are made of each of the elements they hold!